OESH La Vida: Essential Shoes for the Zombie Apocalypse

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The conversation started over the Jerusalem Artichoke, a perennial vegetable with bulbous roots tasting like a cross between a potato and an artichoke. A wonderful OESHer friend gave me some of her roots last year which I planted, and this year, I gave some of the roots to another OESHer and long-time friend (who is also a brilliant physician and also my mom’s doctor), Mary Evans. The great thing about the Jerusalem Artichoke, besides not having to plant it each year, is that you can leave the roots in the ground all Fall and Winter and dig them up only when you want to eat them (as long as the ground isn’t frozen – even then, if you really want them for dinner, you can chisel them out with a pick).

Mary’s response when I handed them to her was, “Thanks! These will be perfect for the Zombie Apocalypse.” Indeed! That got us discussing the preparations necessary for the Zombie Apocalypse, including what is the most appropriate footwear. (I need to disclose here that Mary and her husband, Jonathan, another brilliant physician who I used to work with and who is also my mom’s doctor, are exceptionally fun human-beings who can really get me going… and who also have a brilliant daughter, Ella, who wrote some rather hilarious posts last summer when she worked at OESH, like this one and this one, and also this one that features her mom.)

We agreed that the new OESH La Vida will be the best shoes for the event, which, per Mary and Jonathan’s son, Caleb, who regularly sports a Zombie Apocalypse T-Shirt, is inevitable.

Granted, the potential long-term benefits of La Vida are not going to matter during the Apocalypse itself. With lots of Zombies milling around your neighborhood you’re probably not going to care.

What WILL matter is that you’ll be able to walk, run, and maneuver most efficiently, allowing you to get quickly out and back inside your home (with those Jerusalem Artichokes). OESH’s La Vidas will give you the best possible advantage to navigate obstacles and outrun the fastest Zombies. La Vida’s elastic spring sole responds and returns energy quickly, at just the right time, in contrast to foams and gels in standard athletic shoe soles, which absorb energy and don’t give it back, thereby slowing you down and interfering with quick lateral movements.

The traction on La Vida is superb for all the types of terrain that you’ll be running on — streets, mountainous woods, tops of cars, etc. Unlike standard running shoes, La Vida has especially excellent traction on wet surfaces. Since there will be a fair amount of blood and slime (note that I have no evidence to support that there will be slime – I just think there could be some), this should be an especially helpful feature.

Finally, when you do escape, you can throw your La Vida’s into the washing machine… and dryer at low heat… to get rid of all that zombie ick.

For all these reasons, I highly recommend OESH’s La Vida as the essential “go to” shoes for the Zombie Apocalypse.

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